The more you stubbornly chase something, the harder it gets

by | Mar 27, 2024 | Financial Well-being

Today, during breakfast, my teenage daughter said to me:

“The more you stubbornly chase something, the harder it gets.”

It really resonated with me (not to mention I was proud of her teenage wisdom ).

Does the same principle apply to our finances? Yes, it does.

The more we struggle to save or make ends meet, the more it feels like money slips through our fingers. It’s like money has a mind of its own, slipping away when we try to hold onto it. It has a talent for disappearing when we need it the most.

It is true, though. It’s like wanting a life partner so badly that you end up suffocating them. The more you cling, the more they feel the need for space. It’s a lot like how wanting money desperately can sometimes make it slip through your fingers even faster. It seems unfair because you need it so much.

What often happens is that we may find ourselves in a cycle of scarcity, where fear of not having enough drives us to grasp tightly onto every penny. Paradoxically, this scarcity mindset often leads to impulsive spending, reckless financial decisions, and an overall sense of insecurity about money all the time. Does fear or scarcity actually help us increase our income or save more money? No, it just exhausts us.

Finding a balance between desire and detachment is like walking a tightrope. On one hand, desire fuels motivation and keeps us focused on our aspirations. On the other hand, detachment is about letting go of the need to control every financial outcome.

The key is not to let our desires consume us or our fears control us.

Avoiding Obsession

When we become too attached to our desires, we may become obsessed with achieving them at any cost. This can lead to stress, anxiety, and even burnout as we relentlessly pursue our goals without considering the bigger picture.

Cultivating Resilience

Detachment isn’t about indifference, apathy, or lack of interest; it’s about resilience. It means we can bounce back from tough times, stay focused on our goals, and keep going even when things get rough. We learn to adapt to changing circumstances without losing sight of our long-term objectives.

Every day, we forget that life isn’t just about getting to the finish line; it’s about enjoying the ride. Balancing desire and detachment lets us appreciate all the cool stuff that happens along the way, not just the end result.

When we’re not freaking out about getting what we stubbornly want without seeing the bigger picture, we feel a deep sense of calm inside. We’re not stressed about the future because we’re happy with where we are right now and we have this inner confidence (not delusion) that we can manage any situation.

If you want to read more about the fear of money, you can check this blog post.


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